• Daniela Blagoeva

Vulnerability: The Core of All Emotions and Feelings

"If we want to reclaim the essential emotional part of our lives and reignite our passion and purpose, we have to learn how to own and engage with our vulnerability and how to feel the emotions that come with it."

I've wanted to read "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown since I first heard about it, but something always showed up - another book, a "reader's block" haha. I believe that everything I need, everything I need to know is revealed to me at the right time-space sequence. So I wasn't surprised when this book finally made its way to me. It was the perfect time. I haven't finished reading it, but I wanted to share some ideas I found in the early chapters that had strong energy.


The author discusses vulnerability.

"Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness."

Have you thought about what vulnerability means to you? What vulnerability feels like?

Do you struggle to be vulnerable? Do you see vulnerability expressed openly by others as courage instead of weakness?

"We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we're afraid to let them see it in us. We're afraid that our truth isn't enough - that what we have to offer isn't enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing."

I've learned from an early age that vulnerability is synonymous to weakness. I often associate vulnerability with emotions like fear, shame, grief, sadness, and disappointment. Vulnerability feels like being naked. I feel exposed. I feel uncertain. Being vulnerable feels like a huge emotional risk. So, what would a "normal" human being do in a situation that makes him or her feel totally naked? Avoid it. Reject it. Push it away.

"Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living."

Brene says that what we fail to understand is that "vulnerability is also the cradle of the emotions and experiences that we crave. It's the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path."


Think about love. It's uncertain. It's risky. And loving someone leaves us emotionally exposed. It's scary and we are open to hurt, but can you imagine your life without loving or being loved?


How about putting your art, writing, photography, your ideas out into the world with no assurance of acceptance or appreciation? That's also vulnerability.


I can't even keep count of the times per day I feel vulnerable. I do my very best to avoid these situations because they make me feel uncomfortable. From experience I know that holding in my emotions has brought me more hurt than pleasure. I've trained myself to hide my feelings - not only the "bad" feelings like anger, hurt, fear, guilt, shame, but the good ones as well, like happiness, success, love. It's so bazaar writing this. Even reading it makes me cringe. Why would anyone feel ashamed of their real emotions? Why would anyone sacrifice the truth and courage that are the very essence of their soul?

Because we fear we are not enough.


And you know what the funny thing is? I crave to feel...really feel...feel every emotion travel through my body in waves of energy, and appreciate it, be there, breath through it. I crave to speak about my feelings and experiences without a filter. I crave love and touch. I crave long night conversations engulfed in laughter, tears, connection. If I want all these things that make this life so freaking vibrant and beautiful, I have to be willing to take a risk and understand that I could be hurt, and that's it's okay. I have such a long way to go. I have so much to learn. But that is one of the things I really want to work on - being more open and vulnerable. Is it worth it? Definitely, yes.

"If we want to reclaim the essential emotional part of our lives and reignite our passion and purpose, we have to learn how to own and engage with our vulnerability and how to feel the emotions that come with it."

So why are we here? Connection. "We are hardwired to connect with others. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering."


I'll leave it here for now. Let me know in the comments below, how do you feel about vulnerability? What does it mean to you?


Stay connected,

Daniela


#daringgreatly #brenebrown #vulnerability #connection

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